Focus. . .
Have you ever heard the saying: “You can’t give something you don’t have”?
When it comes to being present it’s especially true. What if someone asked you for a cookie and you didn’t have any cookies? That’s just like if someone asked you to hear them but you were too preoccupied to listen. You are the gift, or the “present”, when you are present for others.
But in order to be present for others, you have to be there for yourself first. When we harness the power of positive thinking and being present, we begin to SOAR! Let’s empty out yesterday’s regrets, toss out tomorrow’s fears, and be here NOW!
Of course, we’re going to need a flight plan to SOAR—not just fly—our way to success. Like any good flight plan, there is a check-list, and we have to make sure the equipment works before we start to taxi.
Positive thinking and being present.
How do you create your own reality? How is it that some people are calm when they’re stuck in traffic while others fall apart?How is it that two siblings from the same family can have vastly different outcomes? Shakespeare said: “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
We are the judge of whether a situation is good or bad. We are the thinker having the thought. When we know who we are and control our thinking, the thought does not think us. Here are some of the most common negative thought defaults many of us face.
What if this doesn’t work out?
What if no one likes me?
“I lack” thoughts:
There isn’t room for me to succeed.
Money doesn’t grow on trees.
There is someone better for this job than I am.
I have never been… (fill in the blank):
These feelings (and many others) are at the root of so many issues and we all t some degree state and endure these negative perspectives both mentally and through our own actions and reactions.
When you really think you are enough and believe it – regardless of job loss, financial setback, loss of a loved one or even your health – who you are is bigger than anything external that you can use to measure your self-worth. First and foremost we must recognize and curb all our self defeating thoughts and habits. These often take the form of procrastination that I refer to
“As soon as” thoughts:
I used to play the “as soon as” game in my head. Maybe you’ve done this too.
• As soon as I move to California, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I get a great job, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I get married, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I have a six pack, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I have a great new car, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I have a new wardrobe, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I have a book published, I’ll be happy.
• As soon as I win awards at work, I’ll be happy.
If you’re always thinking of what will happen “as soon as,” how can you really be present in the moment? That’s when the real work begins. We have to take up the job of being a pilot and not just a passenger. Yes these are metaphors for navigating our life, but they are powerful actions that few of us take up and work to master. The first step is to put down the excuses and take up the mindset AND the actions that will frame our days with more meaning and understanding. The one thought I always carry with me is this – Success is not simply the effort, but the knowledge gained from trying.
The right mindset in these areas is what will serve us well and it begins with simply embracing that when we strive for deeper more meaningful days to our lives we begin by embracing failure – the simple concept that we may not at first succeed, but with time and practice we can learn from our efforts and ultimately reach a better outcome. With this mindset is there really failure? When our “reality” is happening, it is easy to forget that somewhere behind this experience of good or bad (however we are labeling it) is a thought.
Think about it. The person we have the most dialogue with every day is ourselves and most of that conversation is simply thoughts!
Is that conversation:
• Do you express more negative than positive thoughts, about yourself, to yourself?
• Do you believe that what you think will come true?
• What would it take to shift your negative thinking to positive thinking?
• What would it take to get at least 51 percent of your thoughts headed in the right direction?
When we drive a car or when a pilot flies a plane, it is a series of small “error and correct” movements. When you start to veer towards the wrong lane, you make a slight adjustment on the wheel. The same goes for your thoughts: We simply need to learn to adjust the focus.
Peace and Love, Jim