The Other Side. . .
There are a few scary things about answering your hearts calling. . .
The fear of failing at it. (And often the fear of succeeding at it too.)
The fear that others will laugh at your bold choices.
The fear that moving forward on your path may mean leaving others behind.
I would love for this to be a rainbow read for you, something that says have no fear, just do steps A – Z and everything will be A-OK. . . . But I won’t lie to you: Sometimes people do fade away from your life as you move forward.
It’s a scary thought, to look at the people around you – the ones that you swear you can’t live without, the ones that you’ve committed to be with till the curtain call and the ones that society says you’re supposed to stay connected to no matter what. I understand it because I’ve been there. I’ve been in that place of feeling like certain people have gotten so negative or so stuck that I can’t possibly keep them in my life. The hardest dialogue you have will be with yourself when you see and feel that you need to lets some people go and find their way. You freeze at the question of whether they represent some lesson you are to learn (I often talk on the value of that right here on The Daily Buddha). And often it can work that way but other times and friends can actually paralyze us into inaction.
We have to get on the other side of that and here are a few thoughts to aid your journey:
If someone’s role in your life is truly done, their leaving will happen naturally and feel like the right thing when it’s time. In fact you might not even notice until much later – like a friend that you don’t get around to calling, and next thing you know it’s been almost a year that you’ve interacted. It just feels like the natural course of action occurred without effort.
As we start our journey in life it’s hard to imagine letting anyone go. That’s normal, expected and OK. You’re continuing to evolve, and part of what will make “the right time” the right time is that your energy, your needs, and your focus will be different. At that point, it will be a lot easier to let them go and hopefully do the same.
Stop and look at what’s really going on. The people who criticize you, fight you, or pull away might actually be envious of the changes that you’re making. It takes real courage to pursue your passions; not every can summon that fearlessness. And as you shine brighter, you force the people look at their own lives. That can be quite unnerving for someone who’s choosing to stay small and stuck. Again hold your course and let the journey unfold for what it is. We can’t all remain in the same pacts, some must advance while others must remain and discover their course.
Don’t force it. Because what your head thinks you need and what your heart knows you need could be quite different. The person who least fits your requirements might be the one who serves your personal growth the best. A great example of this is the proverbial “soul mates”: Such a person is likely to be the exact opposite of you in many ways and challenge you the most. Your conscious mind who’s making the requirements isn’t going to know about the soul contract that you two have. Yet you each manage to peacefully force a little growth upon each other without ever really knowing it. This is the rare thing, the rare relationship. Recognize, honor it and try not to confuse it with those who challenge you in ways that bring you down.
Finally – and happily – plenty of people stay. It’s so easy to put your attention on the people who seem to be drifting away or talking trash about the life choices that you’re making. But plenty of people will stand by your side and support everything you do. Some of the relationships you thought were doomed will find new life.
Meanwhile, your journey will bring even more people into your life who love and support you. If you choose to stay stuck because certain people in your life are also stuck, you’ll miss out on these wonderful people who are waiting to meet you and are served by you, your attitude and courage to take it all on.
The best thing that you can do is step forward. Pursue your passions and become a lighter, higher-vibrating version of you. When the time comes to bid someone farewell, you’ll be able to do it with Divine Love and Grace, knowing that in the end everything will be OK.
Peace and Love, Jim