Goals are important. All journeys of change must begin with a goal. And you also must have determination in order to achieve your goals. However, what do you think happens when you are too determined, or too obsessed with a goal? You begin to nurture another belief: who you are right now is not good enough.
Years ago, I had become overly obsessive in my efforts to meditate. As my interest in meditation grew, I began to increasingly say to myself, “I am not good enough,” and, “I have to be better at this.” I began to notice various imperfections within myself that needed to be “fixed.”
My over-the-top efforts to meditate for extensive periods of time had opened the doors to lots of self-criticism and stress. Thankfully, however, I realized that my obsession toward meditation had made me forget one of the basic objectives of meditation – self-acceptance.
So the bottom line is this: you have to accept yourself as you are, and then commit to personal growth. If you think you are absolutely “perfect” already, you will not make any positive efforts to grow. But constantly criticizing yourself is just as counterproductive as doing nothing, because you will never be able to build new positive changes into your life when you’re obsessively focused on your flaws.
The key is to remind yourself that you already are good enough; you just need more practice. Change your mantra from, “I have to be better,” to, “I will do my absolute best today.” The second mantra is far more effective because it actually prompts you to take positive action every day while simultaneously accepting the reality that every effort may not be perfect.
Peace and Love, Jim