Transformations can be subtle or loud. But, your unique process of rebirthing lives on a spectrum somewhere between these two. Regardless how small or big your own transformation may seem, it allows you the opportunity to practice facing your own fears and vulnerabilities.
Make the natural world outside mirror your world inside by acknowledging the truth of what you’re feeling, practicing acceptance of how you feel, affirming and reinforcing yourself to build resilience, and embracing your own vulnerability so you can support your personal transformation. It is only during this period that growth and personal transformation can occur. When you face whatever arises, you are no longer vulnerable. Simply acknowledging that you’re in a transformational mode brings awareness to the part of you or your life that is being re-birthed. And, once awareness touches energy, it begins to transform.
The part of you (or your life) that longs for transformation will probably feel unsteady or even scared at the idea of change. Experiencing a new and unfamiliar process can feel very vulnerable. As many times as you need to each day, touch in with yourself and get to know your own unique process. Try this quick exercise while sitting at your desk, between meetings or errands: Place your right hand over your heart or anywhere on your body where you sense fear, uneasiness or vulnerability. It may be a swirling of what feels like anxiety in your chest, or a dropping in your stomach, a tense or tender part of your body. Whatever it is for you, place your right hand where you notice the sensation and say to yourself: “This too.” This too is inclusive. This message immediately opens up space for any sensation, feeling or experience to be there without it needing to be different or be figured out. As you notice the sensations, feelings or experiences move or change, just follow them with your hand and your acceptance: this too.
One of the biggest roadblocks to our transformative nature is that it can feel difficult. But is something as natural as change difficult or is because we spend too much of our precious energy in resistance to it. And, that tricky resistance comes in many costumes that are often hard to discern. Our resistance to transformations of mind and life often stem from one of the following:
Negative self-talk: Does a voice in the back of your head sound judgemental about your process? Your affirmations? Does it not believe in you? Does it not believe you are worth it?
Avoidance and self-sabotage: Do you find yourself avoiding the steps above? Using work obligations, substances or other people and relationships to avoid getting to know your own process? Are you noticing yourself avoiding having to feel the discomfort or vulnerability that’s there?
Archetypical patterns and character strategies: Do you notice yourself making the process or your own vulnerability “bad” so you can blame it for what you don’t understand about it? Or blame it for not being at the place in the process you think you should be at? Are you having trouble taking responsibility for your own behaviors and blaming, then giving up on yourself? Do you expect someone else to tell you what to do or do this process for you?
Are you too busy helping and saving everyone else in your life that you don’t have any energy left for yourself? Can you not seem to make the time for your own process?
Are you too tough or smart or in-the-know to take time with yourself, support yourself, self-affirm and get to know what you need in this process? Do you believe you don’t need anything? Are you spending time managing other people instead of sitting with yourself in this process?
When you notice any, or many, of the above scenarios play out during this time, pause. Then, write them down. Ask yourself:
- What are you believing when the resistance happens? Is there a voice saying something to you, and what does it say?
- Is there an impulse you have, and what does it want to do?
- Is there a behavior or thing that you do that feels familiar, and you find yourself doing it again? What is it? And what is the story you’re telling yourself when you’re doing it?
All of it is okay. Even the resistance. How we resist helps us understand where we’re protecting ourselves from getting hurt or simply too afraid to update the old pattern. Our resistance is there for a reason. It was once our protector from something that was too big or too scary for us to handle at the time. With acceptance and understanding we begin to see through the thin veil of fear and embrace something much more meaningful for ourselves and the lives we interact with – we not only transform in concept, we transform in heart, meaning and purpose.
Peace and Love, Jim