Do get upset about people or situations. Both are powerless without your reactions.
People insult you, abuse you, threaten you and hurt you because they know they can and also because they sense your ability to be hurt and frightened by them. For example, if your partner abuses you or threatens to leave you, your normal reaction would perhaps be to cry, break down and possibly to concede to some unreasonable demands in order to calm them down and salvage a situation. You have given them a sense of power by doing so. They now know that threat/abuse is equal to desired result.
What if you instead smiled and said, ”I would love to continue this conversation when you can speak and not shout, and when you can use words, not abuses to describe what you’re feeling. I love you, and I am here to share your life but this kind of behaviour is something you need to sort out in your head, not mine.” The moment they realize ‘it’s not working’, they will either up the tempo or simmer down. It’s for you to take charge of how you allow yourself to be treated and what the outcome of every situation is. It is your thoughts that bind you and your self-created beliefs and fear that limit and control you. No one controls you. It’s your life. Your decisions. Everything in your life is a result of decisions you have made or allowed in your life. So, the next time you feel like a victim, just remember, it’s your choice to be one or to rise above that mindset and shine the light of understanding into your dark moments.
Peace and Love, Jim