You’ve prepared all month for the perfect gathering of friends and family. When the day comes, though, several guests have bailed, you burned the food and your settings look nothing like you imagined. Instead of enjoying the day with others, you’re consumed by the things that haven’t gone to plan. If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing “perfect moment syndrome.
The effects of this “syndrome” are the result of unrealistic expectations for perfection. Nobody’s perfect. Nor is there a perfect living environment where everything will be just the way you want it. We often in ways large and small may be setting impossibly high standards for ourselves. … we are then trying to make everything measure up to these unrealistic standards. But reality invariably never quite matches our ideal vision or image. So you end up finding fault with everything, adding to our despair and amplifying our discontent.
Buddhism teaches us that our inner state of life determines how we experience each moment—whether the moment is “perfect” or not.
It’s kind of like looking at a plum tree expecting it to be a cherry tree. You say, “What a strange-looking cherry tree!” and end up being disappointed. Instead, you should try to see things more flexibly. Don’t get caught up in the rigid idea that things must be just the way that you have painted in your mind. … Rather than being attached to and constrained by your own idealistic standards, you should look hard at reality just as it is. Then try to discover some positive or enjoyable aspects and use them for your own benefit.
Peace and Love, Jim