Subtle. . .
When we begin Buddhist practice, we are told to loosen our grip on obvious attachments:wealth, possessions, reputation, praise.
We learn the truth of impermanence, and it feels liberating to watch certain cravings dissolve. The car we once envied loses its shine. The promotion we once craved feels hollow. We think – “Ah, I am learning non-attachment.”But for the seasoned practitioner, a subtler form of clinging emerges – one that can be harderto see because it hides in the robes of virtue.
We begin to attach to the idea of ourselves as practitioners. We take pride in our discipline,our compassion, our insight. We may even cling to certain meditative states – the bliss of deep absorption (jhana), the spacious clarity of vipassana, the serene detachment after along retreat. Without realizing it, we start to grasp at these experiences, subtly hoping they will return, subtly fearing their absence.
The Buddha warned of this in the Satipatthana Sutta, where mindfulness is not just about being present, but about observing the arising and passing of all phenomena without identification. Even the calm, even the joy, even the insight – all are impermanent.For advanced practitioners, the challenge is not overcoming desire for obvious pleasures, but recognizing desire in its refined, spiritual disguises. We may think, “I no longer want a newcar,” yet secretly, “I want to always feel peaceful.” The object has changed, but the graspingremains.
The Visuddhimagga describes this as upadana – clinging – and it is said to be like a dye thatcolors even the purest water if unnoticed. We may not be chasing fame, but we may stillchase the identity of “one who has transcended fame.” The ego is skilled at wearing masks.
How do we loosen these subtle attachments? The key is to remain relentlessly honest withourselves. In meditation, when joy arises, note “joy” without labeling it “my joy.” When clarity arises, note “clarity” without claiming it as “my clarity.” We can enjoy these states, but not identify with them.
In my own practice, I have seen how easily a retreat high can become a quiet addiction. Weleave the cushion glowing, certain we’ve touched something beyond the ordinary – andperhaps we have. But if we secretly long for that state tomorrow, we’ve planted the seed ofsuffering. The Dharma’s gift is not to grant permanent states, but to teach us to meet every state with equanimity.
This requires humility – the willingness to admit that no matter how far we’ve come, the mindcan still cling. It requires humor – the ability to smile when we catch ourselves thinking, “Ah, I am now beyond attachment.” And it requires trust – trusting that letting go, even of the”good” states, will not lead to loss, but to freedom.
In Zen, there is a story of a monk who reached deep stillness in meditation. His teacher congratulated him – then asked him to sweep the garden. The monk felt insulted; surely his profound meditative absorption deserved more recognition. The teacher simply replied, “If you cling to that stillness, you are no different from one who clings to noise.”That is the heart of subtle attachment: not the object, but the grasping itself.
For advanced practitioners, the invitation is this – release not just the obvious cravings, but the refined ones. Release the identity of “one who is free.” Release the hope that tomorrow’s meditation will match today’s. Release the quiet pride in your humility.
When we do this, practice returns to its simplest form: sitting, breathing, observing, without measuring. And in that simplicity, we find the deepest liberation – a freedom so unadorned it needs no name.
Because in the end, the path is not about perfecting the mind’s garden, but about letting every leaf fall where it will, without resistance.
Peace and Love, Jim
#subtle #thedailybuddha #tdb
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